Over the years many codes of parmedic ethics, codes of paramedic values, codes for just about everything related to paramedic work has been created and implemented into various Ambulance Services around the world… this is a dedication to the development of a “code of ethics for patients.”
1. Thou shall tell the truth to thee paramedic and not change thou story when thou talks to the triage nurse– paramedics hate it when the just finish telling the triage nurse that the patient is not allergic to anything, only to have the nurse then be told by the patient that, yes, indeed they are deadly allergic to penicillin, morphine, etc.
2. Thou shall at least “try” to suffer from the disease in which you have called a paramedic to treat – calling for an Ambulance for “chest pain,” when you’ve sprained your ankle is not funny…
3. Thou shall not re-tell any experiences relating to a paramedic’s mild short-commings in their ability to treat a patient – the bond between paramedic and patient is sacred and it would be sacrilege (not to mention embarrassing for the paramedic) to tell of how it took the paramedic 8 times to get a simple cannula.
4. Thou shall only do something “really” stupid once – paramedics hate to continuously respond to the same patient day in day out for the same stupid accident that was obviously foreseable!
5. Thou shall name thee baby that has been delivered by thee paramedic by said paramedic’s name – its probably the least you can do after all the disgusting work he/she had to go through to deliver it (not to mention the after clean up in the Ambulance!)
6. Thou shall not expect thou beloved paramedic to share in thee discomfort – okay, so your legs badly broken, it wasn’t the paramedic’s fault – why should he/she share in your discomfort?
7. Thou shall only call am Ambulance for useless reasons after hours – paramedics hate having their time wasted on non-serious emergencies – that is, except when they are on call and making a heap of money for the call out.
8.Thou shall not die whilst in the care of a paramedic before arriving at a hospital – this only causes needless inconvenience to the paramedic in relation to coroners investigations, not to mention the embarrassment when it turns out to be his/or her fault!
9. Thou shall not complain about experimental treatments – this may not actually benefit your health outcomes (okay, it may be detrimental), but it will lead to future research, studies, or at least end a social bet or argument about what would happen if you did such a thing to a patient, once and for all!
10. Do not complain if the treatment provided by a paramedic fails to bring relief – its not his/her fault that the drugs don’t work, or that you are so sick that you were probably going to die anyway… complaining about it, just causes needless trouble for the paramedic.